Diagnosis from Dad

I have an appointment with the second hematologist tomorrow.   My husband and father are joining me.  This will be their first interaction with one of my doctors and while my husband and I are (mostly) on the same page, my father is in a completely different library.   I must confess that part of the reason I agreed to the second opinion is because my father is either treating my diagnosis casually or demanding protocol neither of my doctors agree with.    He is demanding that I go on oral medications; mind you these are medications I am not allowed to take if we want to try to conceive.  Furthermore, my doctor is unwilling to prescribe them even if we opt to not have children.  My father also feels my prescription for blood thinning needles prior to flying is “reactionary and ridiculous.”       Not to mention, he is also suggesting a complete redo of my blood work.    

I am hoping the face-to-face time with the hematologist will demonstrate the realities of my situation to my father so he can get out of his alternate universe and on board with my doctors.   It’s exhausting dealing with him.  Right now, I’d really like to focus on me.

I am a 34 year old woman and I believe I finally understand my diagnosis and Tim and I are working with my initial doctor on a treatment plan we are comfortable with.  I have also done a significant amount of research and am ready to advocate strongly for what I believe in. 

Yesterday I point blank told my father how MY appointment with MY doctor will proceed tomorrow.   I explained the format:    I want to hear this doctor’s diagnosis.  I want to hear his care plan/protocol recommendations and what my precautions and proactive behaviors should be.  THEN I have a list of questions.  THEN my father can speak. 

My father informed me today his plan for how the appointment should go.  I reminded him AGAIN of the above and reiterated the discussion we had yesterday.   I know my father loves his children beyond anything and he is probably in denial or trying to treat this casually because he feels that’s what I need.  However, we have been through this with my sister’s MS diagnosis and he was a domineering and in fact damaging influence then.  He kept vital medical information from her (she’s 22 not 16) until she had to intervene and demand her HIPPA rights.   

I will be relieved when the appointment is over.