To Do

Monday
Office – 9 to 5
Dinner – Grilled ahi tuna steaks, sauteed spinach, cippolini onions, grilled zucchini
After Dinner - Sort Laundry
Exercise – Upper body strength training 15-20 mins

Tuesday
Exercise AM – Hip Hop 60 mins
All Day – 8 Loads Laundry (yeah!)
Exercise PM – Hip Hop 60 mins, Turbo Sculpt 20 mins
Dinner – Buffalo Chicken Tacos (hold the blue cheese and fancy sauce), 4oz Cabernet
After Dinner – Costco (Fruit, Carrots, Water, Soda, Gatorade) & Bookstore
Late Night – Pack

Wednesday
Office – 9 to 5
At Lunch – Stop at mall for strapless bra, Run to Trader Joes (roasted corn, black beans, goat cheese)
After Work – Get car washed, stop at in-laws
Dinner – Trader Joe’s Southwestern chicken burger on a whole wheat roll, green beans, roasted new potatoes
Late Night – Do 2 more loads laundry (seriously wtf)
Later – Pack (must remember food scale and handweights)

Thursday
Exercise AM – Hip Hop Aerobics 60 minutes, turbo sculpt 20 mins
Office – 12:00-4:30 (maybe)
6PM – Long Ass Drive to New England

Bruised Ass

Lately I just feel fat.     Up until this point, I have been slowly gaining confidence about my body change.  I’m not sure what happened, however I think it began Wednesday night at  salsa class.  Perhaps there is something about dancing in front of a mirror?   And I guess the rest of the class is taller and skinnier than me.  I’m not sure.    All of sudden I no longer see 25lbs gone, I see 25lbs left to lose.   I no longer see a thin torso and waist, I just see thick.  I hate this.     So after almost 7 months of living a healthy lifestyle the confidence monster can still come and bite you in the ass.  

The logical me sat down and reminded myself of all the progress I have made.   I even held 25lbs worth of weights to remind myself “this is what I have lost since January.”  I then tried on a pair of  pants I wore 3 years ago in Florida that have been tight forever.   Today they are too big – so I actually missed the window to wear them.  The issue is sometimes all this logic does not sink in.   My sister in law told me “you cannot do this to yourself.”  And I agree, she is right, but it’s how I feel and right now I cannot shake it.       

On Saturday I took my normal hip hop class and stayed for the beginner class that follows.   Afterwards I felt better.  Exercise endorphins certainly help.   Today I will be sorting through all my clothes and stowing away the bigger pieces.   Then on Thursday night we leave for 10 days in Massachusetts, 8 in Cape Cod with my family and 2  in Bedford with Tim’s aunt.    I am not worried about navigating the Cape Cod week as my entire family is following a heart healthy diet (lots of heart attacks in the past) and I already called the gym and found out I can get a 1 week membership.       It will be nice to spend the week with my nieces and siblings.   And most of all, I am looking forward to sneaking off to the raw bar with Tim.   I also plan to spend 30minutes a day just walking and thinking about where my head is right now.   My brain has been cycling through a lot of negative self-talk and I’m constantly reminding myself that it’s not helpful.    It’s so tiring.

Wine World Reels as [Trader Joe's] 2 Buck Chuck Wins Award

Not so bad for $1.99, huh?  From yumsugar.com:

“Wine snobs all over the country are still fuming over a blind tasting in which Charles Shaw’s 2005 Chardonnay was voted the best tasting California Chardonnay by the judges at the California State Fair Commercial Wine Competition. The shocking results were leaked on June 28th and declared “Two Buck Chuck” – as the wine is affectionately called due to its $1.99 price tag – the highest scoring white wine. The official verdict shows that 64 judges awarded “Two Buck Chuck” the prestigious Double Gold award, placing it first over 350 other Chardonnays, and in the top of the entire pack of 3,029 wines. There are those who feel that the results should not be taken into account as the judges are not true, trained wine professionals. The California State Fair competition is dismissed by some critics as representing broad-based consumer tastes rather than the palates of true wine connoisseurs.Whether the outcome will be taken seriously or not, one thing can be certain, thousands of cases of this Chardonnay will be purchased. To be a part of the hype head to your local Trader Joe’s and taste for yourself. At just $1.99 a bottle, you can buy one for all of your friends! “

The Week In Planning

The only way I seem to kick butt with with my meals and exercise is to plan the entire week in advance.  At first it seemed like an inordinant amount of work but I’ve gotten used to putting aside planning time either Sunday night or Monday morning.  In terms of exercise, if I write it down in advance, I stick to it like an appointment.  Conversely without those guidelines, I flounder and miss workouts.  I wish I understood it.

This is what I’ve got  scheduled for this week.

Exercise
Monday – OFF (Grocery Shopping & Late Night at Work)
Tuesday – Hip Hop Aerobics: 60 minutes, Cybex 20 minutes, Strength Training:  20 minutes
Wednesday – Salsa Class: 90 minutes,  Cybex: 60 minutes
Thursday – Hip Hop Aerobics: 60 minutes, Swim:  30 minutes, Strength Training:  20 minutes
Friday – Cybex:  60 minutes
Saturday – Hip Hop Aerobics: 90 minutes, Swim: 30 minutes, Strength Training:  20 minutes
Sunday – Cybex Arc Trainer: 60 minutes, Swim: 1 hour

Edited to add:  In hindsight this seems like a lot of exercise, but I don’t burn a lot of calories at my salsa class or swimming.  Salsa class is for fun and swimming is for toning.

Entrees:  
Monday – Roasted Turkey Breast Sandwiches with Cabot 75% Lite Cheddar (late night at the office, easy dinner at home)
Tuesday – London Broil Crockpot Chili and Corn on the Cob
Wednesday – Monkfish Puttanesca over Whole Wheat Pasta and Roasted Broccoli
Thursday – Veal Pinwheels (I have altered this recipe to suit or diet), Sauteed Spinach, and Mashed Sweet Potatoes
Friday – Crockpot Turkey Stuffed Cabbage (Try II), Roasted Potato Salad (with Olive Oil and Shallots), and Sauteed Kale
Saturday – BBQ @ Tim’s Parents:  I know we are bringing more of that Roasted Potato Salad, Chippy Chewie Bars and Alton Brown’s Pistachio Pesto on Crostini.   They will have turkey, portabella, and regular burgers, plus hotdogs for Omaha Steaks – the best hotdogs ever.   I am already planning to have 1/2 a hotdog and a turkey burger.   I always struggle with the appetizers, so wis me luck.  
Sunday – TBD

Breakfasts are always the same.  I generally eat one of these 4:  Yoplait Light, Thick, & Creamy Yogurt with fresh berries and bran buds, low-sugar oatmeal with a banana,  Eggbeaters on a whole wheat English muffin, or Fage 2% greek yogurt with a banana.  Lunches are generally leftovers,  turkey or tuna on whole wheat, or a big salad.  Snacks have been carrots, almonds, or some other summer fruit (right now I have a huge peach and a pluot on my desk).

6 Months

Today marks the 6 month anniversary of my diet.  Some people say “lifestyle change” - but to me it’s all semantics, really.    I have scheduled a blood test for July 26, and I’ll be very curious to see where my numbers are now.    Many things have changed in 2007, such as:   

My Confidence – When I walk into a room, I no longer wonder if its occupants are thinking “hey, there’s a fat girl?” I am smiling more. I am starting to believe I can do this. In fact, we are going boating with friends this weekend, and I’m ok wearing my bathing suit.  It helps that  I love this bathing suit (enough that I’ve thought about buying it a few sizes down — you know, for later, oh and disclaimer, this is not my body.)   Edited to add:  I found this entry from March, and it’s a mass of insecurity and specifically discusses looking forward to the 6 month point.

My Skin & Hair – Both look 10x better. I attribute this to the healthy diet and the boatloads of vitamins, omegas, etc, I take.

My Body Shape – I am wearing shirts I wore at this weight a few years ago, and the upper arms are swimming on me. I don’t care what they say, you can target problem areas.

My Weight – I am less fat (also semantics, it’s fat and I’m working on being less fat).  I lost 25lbs in 26 weeks. I spent 3 of those weeks maintaining on vacation too. I feel I could have lost more, but I would have been miserable if I had. I think the concept that I am finding balance, ie. enjoying life while treating my body better is equally as important and probably deserves its own bolded section.  There, I just bolded it.

My Left Knee - The bugger has been achy on and off for the past 6 weeks.

My Wardrobe – It’s bittersweet, I really don’t want to buy a lot of clothes, but I don’t have much that fits either.   Trying clothes on is fun again.   Things always fit now too. Yesterday at Old Navy I put an XL size dress on and it was so big it was falling off.  

My Activity Level - On top of my exercise routine, I find myself seeking out additional ways to move, like hiking, salsa class, etc.  I feel good about this.

My Health – I can only imagine that 6 months of watching my fat and carboyhydrate intake has positively impacted my health and my heart.  I certainly feel like I’m extending my life.

As I was wandering on the hunt for a 6 month gift today (again, any reason) — well wait, as sidenote I ended up buying a mini jean skirt ($16.99, pictured left, and hey not my body either) and Tim who had no idea it was new (just easier sometimes) said “Holy shit you look thin in that!” — ANYWAY I realized that although I am proud of my progress these past 6 months, and in fact I have created habits I can continue to build on, etc, what really matters now is the next 6 months.   My continued goal has been to treat my body with more respect as well as create consistent calorie deficits via exercise and healthy eating.  Moving forward,  I don’t really have a battle plan (should I?), just more of the keep on keepin on.

Mornings

For the past few weeks I’ve been eating egg mcmuffins for breakfast.   I use a light whole wheat english muffin, 1/3 of a cup of egg beaters (microwaved in the appropriate sized container), 1 slice of canadian bacon and some hot sauce.    Today I was feeling particularly frisky and added .25oz of goat cheese to the mix.     Seriously, throw in a side of strawberries and it’s 290 calories of deliciousness.   And healthy.  And tastes like a cheat food.  What more can you ask for?

At least once a week now, I’ve been working out in the AM.   I was afraid to announce it here lest hell froze over, however 6+ weeks passed and all seems A-OK.     Granted, some mornings I arrive at the gym with sheet marks still on my face – but, I have never been a before 10am girl in my life.  Ever.

Oh and, the Berry Crisps from last night turned out really well.   In an attempt to control portion sizes, I made them in individual ramekins.  They came it at a whopping 210 calories each, but with 6 grams of fat.  I am ok with that, as it was a dessert, and it could have been much worse.  When I make them again, I think I’d add a little more sugar, otherwise very tasty.   The troops were bitching they needed vanilla ice cream, and I had to agree ice cream would have completed the dessert perfectly, but would have defeated the purpose too, no?

Family Dinner

My parents are coming over to eat tomorrrow and all 4 of us are following heart healthy diets.    I always find it challenging to make a low-fat dinner for company.    I also want the prep work to be easy, as I hate spending my whole night in the kitchen, I want to enjoy my guests.   On the menu so far:

Grilled Lemon Pepper Mahi Mahi
Black Bean and Roasted Corn Salsa
Roasted Cippolini Onions
Sauteed Balsamic Green Beans with Garlic & Shallots

Dessert is still a toss-up, but think I have worked out a fruit crisp recipe that is low in fat.  We’ll see.   My other thought was to serve each person 1 chocolate covered strawberry and 1 biscotti.    My stepmother drinks decaf coffee too, must remember to buy that. 

Edited to add:  I am making a modified Triple Berry Crisp.  Less butter, less sugar, more fruit.  I hope it’s delish.